you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
