i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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