I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pants are for mortals
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