Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Randomize
