I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
