i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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