i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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