I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
