Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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