you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize