Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
