hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
