Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
