Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
