my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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