You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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