she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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