Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
they're like a gay fantastic four
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
