I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize