Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
