Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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