He kissed a someone with a penis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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