Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
