If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
