I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
