Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
