i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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