I wanna bring you to show and tell
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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