I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
