idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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