so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
