we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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