it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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