I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
