i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
