I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
