my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
