if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
