So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
