Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
