Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
