Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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