The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
