covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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