Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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