so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
