Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
