one two three fourrrrnication!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
