i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we made out on top of his cat.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
