Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
