You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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