It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
