YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Congratulations! We have a period
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