Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
