what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
