I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
