i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
