WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize