This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
