Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
