OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
